Monday, October 1, 2007

First things first :)

Ok, ok, I know I have been SSSSOOOOO behind with posting, but I am sure you are all with me when I say that sometimes "real life" just demands so much attention that your "online" life gets pushed to the side a little??

Well,,,, IIIIIIIIIIII'''MMMMMMMMMM BBBBAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK, stronger and better than ever, here to post about my life as boring or interesting as that may be LOL!!! :)

So to finish off myTeenage Saga which began here... and then followed with some "tough love" .... here's how it all ended!!!

Picture this: I am standing at the kitchen sink washing the dishes, the 2 girls (having just gotten out of bed at 1pm) are sitting on my sofa planning a road trip and discussing how they had enough money for petrol for the car, food, alcohol, cigarettes, to get a new tattoo!!!!! They oh so kindly told me that they would be going away while my mother came to stay for the weekend (something that is another story all of its own!!) and they would wander back in this direction in a few days (oh so nice of them I know!)

While their little discussion was taking place, the older of the girls says "I still don't know if we will have enough money" and the younger one says "yeah we do, we just figured it out, and we will be staying here when we get back so it'll be cool!!"

At this point I am standing there FUMING!!! I certainly wasn't aware of the fact that staying here equaled free food and board, so obviously I had missed something!!!! So on they continue with their little discussion about how much money that had been paid today and how much fun it was going to be (keep in mind that they had been staying a week eating every meal here and had only contributed one carton of milk to the household!!) when they stopped chatting to ask "what do you think??????"

Oh my!! What a temptation, so I repeat to them "what do I think???" "yes" they reply....... "Do you REALLY want to know?" was my next question to them!!! Oh so stupidly they replied "yes"

I was actually SHAKING at this point!!!! For ease of reading I will list in point form what my advice and opinion was.... ;)

*** "I think you were offered a place to stay while you looked for a job and somewhere to rent, now as far as I can see you haven't really made much of an effort to do either"

*** "You have been invited into somebody's home, moved into a little boy's room, which is totally fine, but you show no respect by attempting to help out, contribute to the household or motivate yourselves to get employment or accommodation as soon as possible"

*** Somewhere the youngest of the girls replies "oh but we HAVE looked for jobs" now this doesn't sit well with me and I calmly reply "sleeping in until lunchtime, heading to the beach, having another nap, then leaving the house mid afternoon to "job hunt" after which you come home touch up your makeup and go and hang out with boys is not job hunting in my book"

*** "You are MORE than welcome to stay here, as a matter of fact, I don't mind feeding you at all IF and I repeat IF you were showing responsibility!!! You can't just decide to move to another town and expect other people to pay your way, at some point you must take responsibility"

*** "As I said, you are totally welcome to stay here, but in return I would like to see you up at a decent time in the morning and making some effort towards getting employment and accommodation... if that takes weeks then so be it, as long as you are making effort I don't mind!!"

So basically that's what I said.... they went fairly quiet after I said it, hopped in the shower and went straight into town to the job agencies. One of them even lined up an interview (which of course she never did end up attending).... They came home a day later and announced that they would be going on a holiday and wouldn't be staying with us, that Mr 4 could have his room back and they would figure something out!!

You have NO IDEA how bad I felt...... I really needed to say it though, and while I was firm with them I didn't raise my voice or yell, I just told them how I saw it, and i know in a way I did them a favour, because at some point we all have to learn that to make it in life requires effort.... but i couldn't help but have a few tears to my hubby who assured me that if I hadn't said anything we would have had boarders here for the next 6 months :D

I think he has definately learnt his lesson, I dare say he will not be inviting people to stay with us in that situation any time soon....

I must say... I totally absolutely feel like an "old fart" saying stuff like that... I remember how fun and carefree it felt to be a teenager, but there's only so much I can allow them to take advantage of a situation when its affecting my kids and my family...... looks like I am officially a "grown up" PMSL!!!!!


Marcia said...

You absolutely did right! I am so proud of you - it couldn't have been easy but it was the right thing to do. Oh and well done on the virtual tackles :)

Organising queen and
Marcia's take charge blog